Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Desire That I Can Not Escape From. That I Can Only Surrender To.

Luke 9:23
“And he said to all,
“If anyone would come after me,
let him deny himself
and take up his cross daily
and follow me.”

Lately I have noticed a lack of surrender in my own life, more so than ever yesterday. Why yesterday?
I was browsing Facebook when I came across a long post by one of my IGNITE classmates, it was an IBS. I don't remember all of it. It's sadly quite easy for me to read something and forget it. What I do remember was the application was one of a heart surrendered to God.
The funny thing is that it didn't make me feel depressed or condemned or guilty even.
It made me feel encouraged and hopeful. It gave me another feeling...


Desire for growth in my own heart. Desire to be closer to God than I am right now. And I knew quickly why that wasn't happening. It's because I have not been fully surrendered.
I have not been denying myself. All too often I have given into fears or whatever seems more comfortable than what is right. All the while hurting others and myself along the way. All the while becoming more distant from Christ. I know I haven't written an IBS (Inductive Bible study with and application) in a while and to be honest it wasn't because I had no time, although I do have very little. It's because doing this kind of study means revealing where I miss the mark, which in of itself is not so much the problem, that happens anyways everyday, but each IBS must have an application. When I write an application I can do one of two things:

1 write an application that is easy to fulfill,
2 write an application I feel God asking of me but is often difficult.

I don't like doing number 1 because then I just wasted a bunch of time doing something that doesn't really bring me closer to God, it just means I took cheap escape to make others think I'm doing my spiritual homework.
Number 2 is hard to do, but I like the fruit of it, still I in my weakness put off doing it because it's hard.

The fact remains that I have a desire to be closer to God. To grow.
I am saved, nothing will change that.
Satan cannot steal your salvation, but he can take you out of the game and put you on the bench. He can make you an ineffective and unfruitful christian.

What I was confronted with yesterday, is that I can do one of two things. I can remain where I am in a state that is slowly becoming more distant from God, or I can grow closer to Him.

However I cannot grow closer to Him without surrendering all, without denying myself.

As He said thousands of years ago.
“If anyone would come after me,
let him deny himself
and take up his cross daily
and follow me.”

I have this desire, the reason I came here to begin with, to know God deeper. There is but one way to do that. I have already started down the road of surrender in my prayers.

Surrender totally to His will and walk it out in obedience.


An area of my life that is constantly hard to surrender in is being open with others, but more so is seeking help when I feel overwhelmed. I like to live in denial of my weakness, and dislike others knowing that I am not doing ok. When I am struggling tonight and tomorrow, I will go to one of my sisters in Christ and ask for help or prayer.

No comments:

Post a Comment