Great and Precious Promises.

Psalm 16:8

“I have set

the LORD
always
before me;
because He is at
my right hand
I shall not be shaken.”

This last week I have been broken, I have been crushed. I have isolated myself. I have wanted to be a part of the group, but kept quiet. You already know this to some extent because I shared part of it with you earlier. I really have always taken verses of finding strength in God to mean that I should not need to share with anyone else my anxieties or pain. That all I need is found in Him. And I do believe that God alone is enough, so I felt a certain guilt at desiring friendships, and bonding closely with others, combined with the fear of eventually being rejected, I Isolated myself. This last week I have had a gnawing doubt, that somehow I have lost the calling to be here, that somehow I had been disqualified. Not just in being here but also in my relationship with God. I thought more on it, and I remembered a thought I used to often encourage myself with. God went to the trouble of dying for me, I don't think He'll give up that easy. In a sense I set God before me. There's a verse that confirms this Romans 8:33-34 “Who shall bring any Charge against God's elect? It is God who Justifies. Who is to Condemn? Christ Jesus is the one Who died – more than that, who was raised- who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.” I followed that thought about being here. Why would God take so much trouble in bringing me here if He thought I wasn't ready, if He wasn't going to do something with me. The doubts will keep coming into my mind, But God's steadfast character Holds me. I was feeling really crummy Tuesday night, I wanted to be with people but at the same time I didn't feel I could be. So I went out to the meeting tent, and there I prayed, cried, and sang to God. A song came to mind it's called by your side. And the chorus goes, “I'll be by your side, whenever you fall, in the dead of night whenever you call, and please don't fight these hands that are holding you. Cause my hands are holding you.” God brought that song to mind, every time I sang the chorus I felt him sitting next to me. I also brought up my loneliness to Him, I told Him I was sorry for wanting friendships so badly, for not making Him my everything. I asked Him if it was ok for me to seek those friendships, I asked that if it was He would make it apparent. And the last two days He has been. He keeps bringing up the verse it is not good for man to be alone.

But taking that time to draw near to Him, and remember His great and precious promises, which He helped me remember because I had nearly forgotten them. By remembering He is beside me I am able to persevere.

Application.

Be more aware of God and His steadfast love for me and others.

How?

Today I will worship Him somewhere alone. Who would like to keep me accountable.